STAGES OF GETTING BACK TOGTHER. There are no specific steps to follow in love follow your heart there are no stages unless you cast a spell that will help you have your ex back with the use of the ancient way .Both the dumpe and the dumper need to go through them so that they can get each other out of their system and regain control of their lives.
The best way for them to do that is to distance themselves from each other and engage in some introspection. By doing so, they can both process the breakup and discern what they want.
If it’s each other they want, the person who gave up (the dumper) would then contact the dumpee and apologize for making a rash decision. He or she would explain the reasons behind the breakup and propose a recovery plan that would rebuild the foundation of the new relationship.
Upon hearing that, the dumpee would then quickly regain the lost post-breakup power and figure out if the dumper’s reasons for coming back are genuine. If they are, the dumpee could accept the dumper back on a trial period and put his or her ex through a series of tests.
The dumpee would test the dumper for love, loyalty, strength, and perseverance. So before the couple is able to successfully reunite, two essential things first need to happen: The dumper must go through the 5 stages of a breakup for the dumper and discern the dumpee’s worth. The dumpee must go through the 5 stages of a breakup for the dumpee and regain independence. In this post, we’ll talk about the 5 stages of getting back together with an ex. Please note that some people could go through them faster than others and some never.
The Stages Of Getting Back Together
Separation The first stage of getting back together with an ex is the most important one. During this stage, dumpers separate themselves from their partner and begin to feel immense relief. They feel as if their partner added weight to their shoulders and made their life more difficult than it has to be.
That’s why they often go around telling people why the breakup was absolutely necessary and how they can finally do the things they always wanted to do. Their new-found freedom gives them the impression that they’ve made the right decision and that they can now be who they want to be. They can sit at home if they’d like and not have to worry about meeting their dumpee’s expectations.
They’re at peace.
Dumpees, on the other hand, feel anything but peace. They feel as if they’ve lost a piece of their identity and think that they must do anything to get it back. Their instincts tell them that the only way for them to be whole again is to reunite with their ex-partner and patch their wounds.
But one thing dumpees fail to realize is that they’re in denial and that separation anxiety and shattered self-esteem are making them obsessed with their ex. They’re controlling their thoughts and consequently, making their healing difficult. If dumpees come to understand that they’re immensely attached to their ex and that they and their ex need space, they can then leave their ex alone and slowly get out of denial.
They can get through the worst phase of the breakup. But to do that, they need to persevere and develop a lot of self-control.
Independence During the independence stage of getting back together with an ex
Dumpees and dumpers attempt to leave their old lives behind and engage in activities that they can enjoy.
While dumpers tend to distract themselves by going out a lot and dating others, dumpees make use of their post-breakup time and do productive things. They usually focus on self-improvement and try to get out of depression.
They talk about the breakup, exercise a lot, and try to find passion in life again. Positive thinking—empowered with desperation helps them correct their shortcomings and encourages them to grow as people.
They turn their pain into knowledge and rewire their behavioral patterns
Conversely, dumpers don’t suffer after the breakup because they’re happy that their suffocating relationship has ended. This is why they make very few positive changes. They just don’t see a good reason to dig deep and improve their behavior.
In this stage, all they do is follow their gut instincts and focus on short-term external happiness.
They focus completely on themselves and appear selfish and inconsiderate of their dumpee’s feelings. But in their minds, they don’t think they’re selfish. They think they’re victims who got badly mistreated.
As a result of negative thinking, they feel badly repulsed by their dumpee’s presence and require a lot of space and distance.
What dumpers don’t realize is that their ex isn’t a bad person and that the dumpee isn’t any more responsible for the breakup than they are. Not unless the dumpee betrayed the dumper by cheating, lying, or manipulating.
In that case, dumpers have a good excuse to justify the breakup and their feelings. But for most dumpers, it’s not like that. Dumpees don’t always cheat and behave out of control.
Common says about Stages Of Getting Back Together
Usually, it’s dumpers’ thinking patterns that cause them to change positive feelings into negative ones.
That’s why dumpers usually continue to act on their smothered emotions while dumpees feel depressed and try to rationalize their way out of sorrow and back into the relationship. Neutrality Months after the breakup, dumpees crawl out of depression and begin to enjoy their lives again. They no longer need their ex to feel validated and instead just do what makes them happy.
They still value their ex and reminisce about him or her, but they don’t put their ex before them anymore. Not after they’ve managed to recover to the point where they see their ex’s true colors.
In the neutrality stage of the breakup, dumpers stop feeling extremely elated and relieved and reset their emotional state. They revert back to the people they used to be prior to the breakup and continue to engage in hobbies they picked up during the separation and independence stage.
Dumpers may still subconsciously hold some resentment toward their dumpee, but this resentment doesn’t usually come out unless the dumpee commits typical post-breakup mistakes and smothers the dumper.
Provided the dumpee stays in indefinite no contact and leaves the dumper alone, the dumper naturally stops feeling the need for space. The dumper lets go of built-up negativity and feels neutral about his or her ex.
But for that to happen, the dumper typically needs months of alone time. Sometimes even more if the dumper doesn’t ponder about the breakup very much and continues to engage in mindless activities.
This is why the 30-day no contact rule and other devious plans seldom work on the dumper. As long as the dumper is unreceptive, there’s nothing the dumpee can do about the breakup.
All the dumpee can do is wait and “hope” that the dumper is mature and self-aware enough to see past his or her issues.